The 1st Self-Trust Experiment
I do not trust myself, because I consistently make and break weak promises to myself. This is created an all encompassing gap in my confidence and my perception of reality. It leads to me consistently failing at turning my dreams into reality, and knowing that they were possible but that I did not do what I could have done to make them real.
I choose short term enjoyment over long term enjoyment far too often and without deeply wanting to. I am controlled by my impulses and emotions when I want to be driven my deep desires and dreams.
I hypothesize that, if I choose my promises consciously, and always fulfill them, I will have a much higher self confidence, a record that I am unwilling to breach, a more enjoyable and calm and powerful perception of reality, and I will accomplish a lot more stuff that I deeply desire to do.
For the next 21 days (August 11 – August 31), I shall make a daily promise to myself in the morning. I will publish this promise here on this blog.
Then I will fulfill that promise, or fail myself.
Finally, at the end of the day, I will record my results, and how I feel.
At the end of the month, we’ll see what has happened.
Overall, this experiment was a success.
It definitely made me push harder on days when I would have just hit the hey. It turned potentially horrible weeks into acceptable weeks, and acceptable weeks into great weeks.
I didn’t gain all that much self trust, but that’s because I only kept my self promises 52% of the time…not exactly a trustworthy ratio.
In the end, I’m keeping this as pat of my daily rital. Every morning, I choose one small task from my daily plans and make that my promise. No matter what, I must get that thing done.
I’ve got September’s calender up on my wall (with day 1 already crossed off).
Paired with things like my daily 1-5 ratings, my weekly win percentages, and my weekly monetary reward, I’m certainly feeling more productive.
However, the graphs tell a different story, showing that I seem to be maintaining the same level of awesomeness which fluctuates it’s peaks an valleys in remarkably consistent 2 week cycles. The peaks are slowly getting higher and the valleys getting low, so things are somewhat looking good.
I’ll keep implementing new experiments like this every month. Next one going live this week (after an intense work session for the next few days that I’m postponing my planning for)